This one can be a toughy! How exactly do you tell one of your nearest and dearest that you hate her dress choice? It’s not an easy feat but it’s possible to do without hurting feelings, I promise!
Before getting into how to resolve this issue I’d like to put on the record that I am not an advocate of the “wear whatever you want” direction from a bride. While you may not want to force your bridesmaids to wear something that they hate, you are opening the door for them to wear something you hate. Not only that but it makes choosing her dress that much more complicated.
“Will she like this?” “Is this the style of her wedding?” “Is this the right color?” “Is this too much? Too little?” “Can I wear embroidery or lace?”
You can see how the mind can begin to wander, and a girl who generally has spectacular taste and easy shopping experiences can find herself in quite a dilemma. Instead, give them a little direction. Choose a specific designer for them to choose from, or give them guidance on fabric, color, length, and general style. Send examples of pieces you like that fit the style of your wedding, and always offer to join their shopping adventures. I promise, it is much easier to give direction while letting your girls show off their personal style than just giving free reign!
If you are having a black tie event you don’t want your girls in bohemian, beach wedding attire.
Now, onto the resolution for those of you who found yourselves in this complicated situation.
The first rule of thumb is: DO NOT tell her you hate her dress! Think about how you would feel if one of your best friends outright told you “I hate this!! No way!!” It adds animosity to an already awkward situation. Keep in mind she has already spent money on something she loved. Instead, tell her you love it, but…
Tell her the dress is gorgeous and gorgeous on her but doesn’t really fit the style of the wedding and the look you were going for. Explain that you would like to have the same feeling throughout the wardrobe and tell a beautiful story. You can also take the direction of not wanting to get lost next to her, “OMG, you look spectacular! You’re totally going to steal my thunder!! What do you think if we went together to find something a little different and save this for the next gala you have?”
Make sure to offer to join her in her new search and be a part of the process with her. Instead of bringing her down, you want to lift her up. Remember what she is doing for you. Bridesmaids give so much of themselves to their brides and they deserve the same love and care in return. So please, I beg of you to be wary of hurting feelings.
Brides, remember that this is your wedding, and it is ok to ask someone to accommodate your request in order to create the day of your dreams. When done right, your bridesmaids will be more than willing to do whatever you ask. They love you and want to see you smile. They also know that you would do the same for them (if you haven’t already!).
So, in a nutshell… Celebrate the diversity and personal styles of your girlfriends but remember to make your wedding your own. Even if it means an awkward conversation or 2!
Need advice? Send me your questions and I’ll answer them for you right here!
Can’t wait to hear from you!
Chat soon, Xo